I Love my Husband . . . (A Housewife's Confession)

I love my husband.

My husband is the light of my life. We have a productive marriage that has born us lovely kids. We have had our share of ups and downs, but tell me who hasn’t.

For the past couple of months though, something has been creeping into my marriage. Something I never before foresaw. Some eerie temptation and I’m confused of what to do about it.

It started with my husband. One night we lay in bed drunk with the house to ourselves. We were indulging in some kinky foreplay. He was fucking me with one of my dildos when suddenly he said something I never before thought I would hear from him.

He wanted me to have sex with another man. Not just any man; he specifically wanted me to fuck a black man!

The sex left my head when he mentioned that and I looked at him strange. Why? For what reason?

I asked him these questions. He gave me some weird, vague responses. Just kept saying he’d always wanted to see me in bed with another man, and that it would improve our marriage a lot more.

We loved watching porn together. He enjoyed ones that featured group sex and interracial couples making out with each other. Yes, I’m aware of cuckold porn. But never did it occur to me before then that he was attracted to such so bad that he wanted me to indulge in similar stuff. Never did I realise until then that such cuckolding actions were carried out by real life couples out there. Believe me, I discovered plenty when I began researching on it my self. It bothered me to think that my darling husband wasn’t the only married man out there considering such.

He demanded an answer and I said no. Days later he demanded again and still I told him fuck no. Why was he so relentless about it? I never got a straight-forward answer from him; always he blushed with embarrassment whenever I confronted him with the question.

Months went by and we seldom raised the subject at all. We even stopped watching porn for a while, at least together. He would creep out of the room late at night while the kids were in bed and go slot in a porn DVD downstairs. A couple of times I woke up not to find him in bed and went downstairs and found him masturbating to porn. My only worry was for the kids to never find out, and thankfully so far they haven’t. He never raised the topic again and I never bothered to inquire any further.

I thought that would be the end of it. I mean, it should have ended right there and then, don’t you think?

Well, to my surprise, the thought remained stuck in my head since. No matter how had I tried not to think about it, explicit images kept flooding my mind. I’d see myself in a bar laughing and flirting with a stranger while my husband sat somewhere farther spying on us. I’d feel my hand over the man’s crotch. I’d feel his penis come hard from my touch. Then he’d leaned forward and start kissing the side of my neck without trying to stop him. I’d glance over at my husband and catch him looking at me. I would sit there expecting he would rush over and pull us apart, except in my dreams he never did. He just stood there watching . . . smiling while he did.

Could you imagine the sort of predicament I was in? I couldn’t dare raise this dilemma with my friends for fear of what they might think . . . although I do have a cousin who left her husband for a younger man (would you believe, a black man!), but they were divorced by the time they hooked up, and the last thing I wanted was losing my marriage that way . . .

But the temptation was growing. I couldn’t shake it off or let it go. Whenever I drive to work, or when I go shopping, I’d catch sightings of white women sauntering about, looking happy and proud next to black men. Even when I observed white couples together, I’d focus instead on the wife and try picturing her cheating on her man, having a black lover on the side, and wondering if her husband knew. I’d go online and visit numerous adult sites and read testimonials from white women claiming they had fucked black men and of how great the sex is. Some even declared that their husbands had helped with setting them up together and of how their lovers have turned their men into willing submissive and now the three of them were living the typical cuckold life.

I wondered if this was the same feat my husband wants for us.

As much as I don’t want anything to endanger my marriage, I can’t help feeling more and more curious about this temptation and what sort of pleasures it might hold for us. I can’t quit the persistent dreams of my husband coming home to find me in the arms of another man.

What would be his reaction?

Would he get angry or love me even more?

Would he beg the man to climax inside me?

I’ve begun dressing raunchy. I bought myself some thong panties online, including a set of panties with the ‘Queen of Spades’ logo on it. Yes, I’m aware of what the logo denotes and I’m not ashamed of it. A week ago I wore it to bed and my husband pretty much raped me with delight. He asked me how and when I got them and I told him. I came clean with him that night and told him of a guy who worked in the lower section of my office building whom lately has been catching my fancy. Yes, he’s black and he’s married . . . but I don’t care, and he doesn’t appear to either. We have met for coffee so far and flirted innocently but so far nothing. But I’d love to make something of it.

My husband has given me the OK to go ahead. I just love him so much.

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