What makes a black man a terrific lover?
It’s a question I pondered while I was spending time with a lovely wife down in Charleston. After we'd make love, we would sit in bed and talk about ourselves: our past sexual experiences, our time we've shared with each other so far. She found it easy opening up to me unlike how she'd been with other men before, and I too took pleasure explaining to her about myself and what I stand for. We talked like old friends. We talked like lovers who'd known each other since way back. The world just seemed to shrink before our eyes as we talked and rubbed our hands over each other's naked flesh, our minds explored while our bodies gained back strength to come after each other once more.
At one point in time, she threw this question at me: "Master Phil, please tell me what you think makes black men better lovers?"
It sounds hypothetical, and not wanting to seem biased, I can only answer such type of questions from my own perspective.
It's hard to know what separates a lover from a sexual partner, more like what separates love from sex . . . or if its possible they can ever both be separated. Answering such is like stating the difference between the yolk of an egg and the albumen. They're both intertwined and only when together do they make up the egg. Hence sex and lover are as intertwined as . . . we would want them to. As human beings, we are sexual animals, and to me, sex is one of the most primitive things we will ever have that's far greater than Man discovering fire, and yet it baffles me that it's still something a lot of us have a hard time accepting or dealing with. We love violence but can't stand sex, there's some irony there.
But enough of that. I'm not here to bore you with stuff I probably lifted from watching Oprah. We're here to talk about black men being better lovers. As I said, I can't speak for all black men with regards to answering this question. I can however speak for myself.
A motto I often adhere to when it comes to sex and love-making is this: 'have sex like you're in love, and make love like you're having sex.' Sounds pretty confusing, I know. Allow me to indulge you by explaining bits of it.
Plenty of white woman would complain that black men don't spend much time in giving them oral sex. I'm not going to argue whether or not such is true, but I will admit there's some truth and logic to it. Where I'm from, back home in Nigeria, a large percentage of the men don't like eating out a woman's pussy. Often I asked my friends why and to them it's like not being in control of the sex. They feel (although neither would say this out loud) that giving a woman head is like she taking over. One thing most black men get nervous about is losing control, even when it means allowing their woman to have the upper hand when making love. Think I'm wrong? Go out and ask your black male friends about their sex life and hear what they'll tell you. If you meet a black man who isn't ashamed to reveal his sex life openly to you, then you're talking with someone far intelligent. Most black men seldom talk about their sex life or even open up to it. It's a pride thing for a lot of us. We hate poking into what we do when having sex, or evidently finding out that we're slacking on the job. It's connected to our testosterone ego.
For me, I love nothing more than eating out a woman's pussy. I've developed a sort of technique into the art of such, and I've gotten much better results from using it.
1. EATING OUT A WOMAN'S PUSSY
I start from the neckline: I lick the sides of a woman's neck and run my tongue downward to her clavicle region and over the sides of her shoulders. I kiss the mounds of her tits, but apply my tongue around her areolas before pulling on her nipples. I kiss the sides of her waistline and head upwards along her rib cage and reach around to her backside. My tongue traces her spine from her neckline downward to her valley and back up her ass cheeks. I turn her over on her backside and kiss her navel region and head downward towards her crotch. By now she's shaking and her pussy's starting to leak, anticipating where I'm coming . . . No, I don't get to her pussy, but instead change direction and kiss her inner thigh (not the outer thigh, mind you), and continue down towards the underside of her knees and from there the backside of her legs down to her ankle and toe nails and then I travel back up where I'd come from and apply the same to her other leg. I turn her over and slid my tongue between her ass crack and travel downward. I lick my tongue around her anus region . . . and when I'm ready to eat her pussy, she's already gushing like spilled milk. Often I make use of other items: If I've got a bowl of ice cream or ice cubes, I use them on her, and that sends her to the stratosphere.
Women deserve as much foreplay as men can give them, and that too applies to black men. If a black man can make love to a white woman before she's out of her clothes, imagine what would happen when she gets out of her clothes . . . or even halfway out of it.
Someone might ask: how long do I eat a woman's pussy. I answer: long enough to make her cum, and hopefully get her to cum some more. Matter of fact, sometimes I do it till she cries 'uncle', and begs for me to fuck her. Interracial sex plays on the senses, and nothing drives white women crazy than the sight of a different skin color pressing against her. Her emotions reach an all-time high she seldom has when with a white man. She already knows she's in for great sex . . . what she wants first is passionate love. By passionate love, I mean she wants what will awaken all her five senses to full point. It’s the same thing most white hubbies too desire to see fulfilled.
SIGHT: seeing her black lover lying beside her, knowing he's there for her and not caring if anyone else is in the room watching. Seeing the contrast in their skin as they become one.
TOUCH: feeling his black skin press against hers, rubbing and caressing her and making her feel comfortable with his presence. Holding his cock in her hand and stroking him erect.
SMELL: her nose capturing that masculine odor of his. His yearning manliness that's there to subdue her, to own her like no man has before.
TASTE: his tongue sliding in and out of her lips, kissing every inch of his torso and sucking his cock in her mouth.
HEARING: listening to him moan from the pleasure she's giving him as she swallows his erection and hearing him talk dirty to her.
TALKING DIRTY: I love talking dirty to a woman. I do it for the fun of it, but also to make her feel wanting and know that I'm there only to make her be the woman she ought to be when with me. Sex involves behind comfortable. If I can't make the white woman feel comfortable with me, then I can't do anything at all. It helps too especially for those women who're yet to take on a black lover for the first time.
The one complaint of white women regarding black men is often about their aggressive nature and never taking much time to understand them. Either that or too many folks watch a lot of interracial porn and take that to mean what black men are about - having a big dick to tear up any white pussy they meet. Like I said, I'm not against what they're saying as being very true of all black men, but I will give them points for saying that. If a black lover can't spend much time on foreplay then he's not worth being a black lover at all; he's merely there to hit some pussy and head off to the next one. Great foreplay starts with dirty talk, and I don't care if any of white women out there have lived your past lives in a convent or in an Amish countryside (no offence to the Amish), but if you desire me to come handle you, expect me to use some dirty talk on you. Even when I've got my cock inside you, I still want to you talking whatever filth you can throw at me. Tell me how much you like what I'm doing to you . . . where you want me to do it . . . and if I've done it already that you want it again. In other words, talk to me!
THE AFTER-SEX: I'm not going to talk about the actual sex, because we all know already what that means. I'm instead going to skip that part and move into the 'AFTER-SEX', which is another part some women tend to grip about.
I'm not a fan of swingers or anything that involves swinging or gangbanging. Not that I hate them, but they tend to take out the fun in sex, they make it look so impersonal: a bunch of guys screwing a single woman, looking like they all went and did some dick-measuring contest before they came into the room. For couples wanting more of this lifestyle, I suggest getting the wife a lover, someone who understands her in and out, makes her feel special like never before and makes her feel comfortable in her own skin as well as being with someone who isn't her husband, but more or less an extension of her husband. After sex, they cuddle, they talk, they laugh . . . they stroll into the kitchen naked and get something to eat . . . and who knows, they probably fuck in the kitchen too with the fridge door open and not care if a neighbor's passing by.
IN SUMMARY . . . There is beauty in interracial sex. In watching a white woman handle a black man's cock, and seeing the brother eat the woman's pussy like it lunch and dinner. White women deserve the best sex, and deserve a black man who understands the benefits of sex and love-making and knows how and when to apply them on her. It brings a whole new meaning to the word 'Interracial', and even their husbands can't wait to see her happy when in such a state.